The words emotion and feeling can be used interchangeably in our language and this can be problematic. You can have emotion like anger, guilt, joy, sorrow. Emotion is what moves us. We are creatures of emotion and it will be at the steering wheel of many of our behaviours with sometimes complete disregard to the work of our rational minds. In many cases emotion can be irrational, but at it’s heart it serves a purpose and it’s intention is to aid our survival.
Feelings are like the bodies internal feedback of emotions. They don’t necessarily have to come together. In fact, one of the biggest problems we face as a humanity is that we are full of emotion but without feeling. A good way to demonstrate this might be with hunger. You can feel hungry but if something happens and you’re in danger you would lose that feeling, it doesn’t mean that you’re body doesn’t need fuel it’s just that you have lost the connection. What would likely happen is that once the danger has gone and you regain a sense of safety then those feelings of hunger would return.
But what if they don’t return? If you take an emotion like frustration, well you can have the emotion drive your day but that doesn’t mean you will necessarily feel it. Think of the person who shouts ‘I”M NOT ANGRY’ and you will see all the emotion without the feeling.
One of the things that I do with my work with children, families and adults in therapy is that we find find those feelings again. If it’s safe enough to recover feelings from the past in the present then nature takes us on a journey that means they aren’t as stuck any more. They may need to be felt and expressed lots and times and in this relationship with them like the channel of a river they can flow a lot more easily the more you do it.
If you want to find out more about compassionate Inquiry, trauma, my work with families and children then please get in touch at mail@joeatkinson.co.uk or visit the website www.joeatkinson.co.uk