Story
Masculine Compassion
Anothony lay on his hospital bed wracked by spasms of pain. He had been diagnosed with a particularly virulent strain of liver cancer and the oncologist had given a bleak view of his chances of survival. His parents sat by his bedside.
‘How do you feel, Anthony?’ asked his tearful mother.
‘Ma, it’s like I’ve got piranhas swimming in my guts.’
Anthony’s mother put her face in her hands and wept.
Silence.
Then his father leaned towards his ear and quietly said, ‘In that case, son, go fishing.’
Ten years later, having made a full recovery, Anthony is still very much hooked on life, and the healing power of metaphor.
(The Salmon of Knowledge - Nick Owen)
I am both excited and honoured that I have recently qualified as a certified Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner. It has been a long year of training, studying and personal exploration and I am pleased to be one of the first people to certify in England. So what is Compassionate Inquiry?
It’s a psychotherapeutic approach developed by Dr. Gabor Maté that reveals what lies beneath the appearance we present to the world.
“The purpose of Compassionate Inquiry is to drill down to the core stories people tell themselves – to get them to see what story they are telling themselves unconsciously; what those beliefs are, where they came from; and guide them to the possibility of letting go of those stories, or letting go of the hold those stories have on them …
That’s what Compassionate Inquiry is.”
~ Dr. Gabor Maté
Here are my 5 things to Ponder about Compassionate Inquiry:
Origin - Dr Gabor Maté is a world renowned author, speaker and thinker on Addiction, Child Development, ADHD, trauma and more. Over the years he has developed his own framework for healing, understanding and working with others called Compassionate Inquiry. I originally came across him after studying addiction and reading his book ‘In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts’. and have followed him ever since so when the chance came up to train and learn from him directly I jumped at the chance. If you haven’t heard or read anything by him then I encourage you to have a look at many of his talks on you tube and go check out his books.
Purpose - The main reason why someone would seek therapy or support is that they are suffering. The basic premise of Compassionate Inquiry is that this is because there is some form of disconnection from the truth of yourself and that this is the primary cause of our suffering. It is with this re-connection that comes our freedom from this suffering. The aim of Compassionate Inquiry is re-connecting with our own truths and liberation from suffering.
Why Inquiry? - In the dictionary Inquiry is defined as ‘an act of asking for information’. The work we do is very much an inquiry because finding out about the disconnection is not something that you can be told, but it is something that comes from within. In Compassionate Inquiry, you are very much in charge and there is great faith in your own processes.
Why Compassion? - AH Almass says that ‘Only when compassion is present will people allow themselves to see the truth.’ The compassion muscle is well and truly flexed in the inquiry which allows for an honest, non-judgmental exploration of whatever the presenting issues may be.
‘To be in the world but not of it’ - This is a Sufi saying which could have many meanings, but I think it fits neatly with Compassionate Inquiry. As we grow up we start to identify more and more with our personality. Personality Is important and we would not survive without it, but we are more than our personality and we do not necessarily need to identify as our personality. When you practice Compassionate Inquiry you start to identify less and less with your personality and develop a deeper grounding in reality. Our personalities are created in our worlds, but there is something deeper and more meaningful that we can connect to.
If this has been interesting to you then I invite you to find out more about Compassionate Inquiry and Dr Gabor Maté. He has four wonder books out and is soon to be releasing a new one ‘The myth of normal in an insane culture’. If you’re interested in trying it out yourself then I can invite you to a 15 minute free consultation to see if there could be some support for you. Get in contact - mail@joeatkinson.co.uk
https://compassionateinquiry.com